the-livingmannequin.bs.com
Quotes: to sing when you hurt and to sing when you cry, to sing when you live and to sing when you die.
Let’s face it, who in this world wants to fail? No one. Not even the insects, animals and other living things in this world. They all want to succeed. They all want to achieve success. They all want to feel what it’s like to be at the top of their game. But sometimes, at some point in their lives, they will have to smell failure. Some could be a drastic one; others may make a small impact in their lives. Either way, they knew what it feels like to fail at something.
Failure, the word that many people despise, to others, it’s nothing. They have seen that particular word too many times until they forgot how it feels like to fail. Probably, these people have given up and they don’t wish to be helped anymore. They don’t want to trouble others. They just want to carry their own burden alone. Personally, for me, I have been through a lot of failures in my life. Most of them have made a great impact on me and some had left a permanent scar on my mental self. I try to refrain myself from doing any self-inflicted injuries. However, when the pain is just too hard for me to take it, I hurt myself. I admit, this is one of the dumbest things a person can do to himself. But at desperate times, you just have no control over your body. Your mind misinterprets things and your heart decided to be against you. And sometimes, suicide feels like the simplest way to solve any problem. Why? Because your life just ended in an instant and you don’t have to think about all the stressful issues that have been bothering your soul. It seems like a perfect thing to do but think again. How would your loved ones feel? Do you ever think about their reactions when they found out that you committed suicide just because you cannot take it anymore? I do admit that I suffer from depression and at some point in time; I wanted to end my own life. However, I did not seek any professional help. Mainly, because I do not want my parents to know about my condition and also, I tend to keep matters to myself. Eventually, I will take it out on someone. It can be very frustrating and annoying. But the good thing is, I didn’t take my own life. What if the future holds something that I wished for? I may never know. You see, I am a repeat student and going back to school to repeat is a challenge. A great challenge, I must say. Not only have I had to face my teachers but the stares from other people and their stigmas. It takes a whole lot of courage and determination to come back. Of course, I have no friends back then. I felt I was all alone. It was as if I was the only one doing this and there was no one else to talk to. I tend to cry when I’m alone, usually recess time, when there was no one in class. I would sit at the back of the class and silently cry with sad music as a soundtrack plugged into my ears. Sometimes, tears would fall without warning. Of course, people will ask me how the standard of O levels is like. For me, I just put a strong face, cleared my throat and say it with a smile. But now, I have a close friend in class, whom I can confide in, whom I can trust and most of all, who went through the same path as I do. And yes, I do have haters or maybe people who envy me. But the wound that injured us, repeat students, can never be healed. Not even through the years. Other students tend to insult us about how express students are not that smart that they used to think. Even teachers will insulting us about it, though there are others who cared about us. And I really appreciate that. Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love. But this isn’t really the matter. What matters most, is your will and the determination to do what you’ve never done before and that you know, you can achieve it. Just take a good look at yourself in the mirror, recall some of the failures you’ve been through and look at yourself again. Are you happy with what you’re achieved so far? If yes, good for you. If no, try again. Don’t ever be afraid to fail. Every failure is just a reminder for you, to do better than before. It doesn’t mean when you fail, you are a failure for life. No. Each and every one of you guys out there are talented, creative and smart in your own way. And no one can ever bring you down. This is one lengthy post I've ever written. And yes, i listened to The Diary and Danger Line again. |
